Fire Lord Zuko

Hi. If you’re reading this, you might be wondering where I’ve been for the past few...

Fri, 03 May 2013 23:08:58 -0400

Hi. If you’re reading this, you might be wondering where I’ve been for the past few months. I’m not going to act like this is just a phase, that I will return in a few short weeks or even months. My muse is just dead—all of my muses actually. I used to love to roleplay and now writing in general just wears me out. It’s probably something to do with my depression which I am undergoing treatment for but that really doesn’t matter. My issues are not my scapegoat, but they are a motivation.

I miss my partners. I miss being REALLY into ATLA/LOK but it was the fandom that wore me out, to be honest. The shipping, the negativity—it just wore me out. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a wee bit grateful to fall out of ATLA/LOK and into another fandom in which there were more nice people. Not to say I haven’t met many wonderful people that I would love to meet and kiss on the face and eat junkfood with and go to cons with, but I just have encountered way too many assholes.

In conclusion, I love most of you. If I didn’t, you would know. And if you’re reading this message, there is a 99% chance you are one of the people I love because you actually care.

If you still want to keep in contact with me, message me and I’ll link you to my personal blog.

xoxo, Katie

makingme-nauseous: Breath caught in her slender throat at the innocent proposition— less so in...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 16:07:00 -0500

makingme-nauseous:

Breath caught in her slender throat at the innocent proposition— less so in regard to the context, but in the rasp that it was delivered. Words such as those struck her ears time and time again, were written on the ring she forced back, the tears she plead he was unable to shed.

“What do you mean by old times?” She began coldly, “For it to be like old times we’d have to be fighting, and you’d have to be lying about—” Stop it, Mai. No use in digging up old graves. Swallowing hard on the thought, the anger boiling in her chest, she turned with a sour grimace, “Fine.”

What in Agni’s name would Ty Lee say? It had been a few weeks since their relationship had grown into anything notable, but perhaps it was best to keep from Zuko’s attention. “Sit down… I’ll make the tea. You’re terrible at it.”

He followed her direction, compliant to sit, but his lips opened to protest her statement; he resented anyone who insisted his tea-making skills hadn’t in the least improved. However, the quip fell short, and instead a hapless sigh escaped his lips, “Fine.”

Instead, he scowled at her previous statement—that the culmination of their past, their ‘old times’, consisted of fighting and lying. If that were the case, he certainly wouldn’t be here. That segment of their relationship was but a crack in a more profound tie they shared. Though he wouldn’t dare remind her of that now—he could hardly bear the thought of reminding himself.

Zuko swallowed as he crossed his ankles beneath the table, not watching her prepare the tea—he idly wondered if she would remember the way he preferred his drink prepared: dried green leaves over steaming water, a cane of sugar, and a dash of cinnamon.

makingme-nauseous: Rigidly she rose from her seated position, unsure whether to catch his gaze or...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 23:23:00 -0500

makingme-nauseous:

Rigidly she rose from her seated position, unsure whether to catch his gaze or remain disconnected. All too soon, the silence between them was breached in a cough, a light clearing of an otherwise constricted throat— Agni, why did he come now?

“Well, with all this nothing lying around, I’m not sure I can fit you into my schedule.” Hazy golden eyes wandered up his familiar figure; the recognizable build, the set of his jaw, the heart wrenching scar upon his cheek. “Did Mom just let you in—? Or have you taken to the life of crime and simply break in?”

There was something in her tone that made his chest twitch, if only because he was amused that her demeanor had hardly changed in the long months they had spent apart.

“Yeah,” he answered in a short breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in. “If I wanted to break in I’d just come through your window.” He swayed awkwardly on his feet as his eyes remained downturned. “But you wouldn’t like that.”

And he was suddenly feeling as if she didn’t want him here at all; perhaps he should follow those wishes as well. If he were in a considerate, he would have left then. “I wanted to know if you’d share a pot of tea. With me…like old times?” he tried.

makingme-nauseous: firelordhotman So, this was it. Eventually one side had to cave, give in to...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:35:00 -0500

makingme-nauseous:

firelordhotman

So, this was it. Eventually one side had to cave, give in to the other and visit— if only for a short while.

But that wouldn’t make it easy.

“—Zuko.”

If there was a word to describe the feeling of his name on her lips, Zuko would not be able to conjure it. A wave of memories crashed down around him at all at once.

“Mai,” he breathed, incapable of looking her directly in the eye as he spoke. “You aren’t—am I interrupting anything?”

[The Letter ]

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:18:00 -0500

Dear Mai,

I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but I’m leaving.

I want you to know that it isn’t you I’m leaving, though. The months we’ve spent together since Ba Sing Se have been amazing. You’re amazing. But I can’t stay in the Fire Nation.

Coming home meant coming to terms with my past. I used to think it was all bad, and I used to wonder what I was fighting for at all—why I wanted to reclaim my honor and come home. I knew in my heart my father would never accept me—I am too much like my mother—and it’s not like Azula was ever an affectionate sibling. Being gone reminded me how much I love the Fire Nation summers—how bright the stars are when you travel outside the capital. Even though the palace garden is dead, I still remember when my mother would take me there and taught me things my tutors never would.

I also was reminded how happy you make me.

And maybe that’s why I’m leaving; I want to be with you Mai, but I can’t be with you when the world is filled with so much hate. I can’t let my father destroy all the places I’ve seen, the families I’ve met. Doing so would demolish all the honor I have to my name, which is very little.

I don’t expect you to understand any of this. But I hope you do. And if you can’t understand, at least remember that everything I’ve done, I’ve done to protect you. To protect my country. To protect what I love.

Don’t look for me. Don’t follow me. I don’t want to drag you into this. But when it’s all over I’ll come for you. I swear.

-Zuko

OOC time

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 21:59:15 -0500

I have been dedicating a lot of time to myself lately. I don’t want to change that. For this reason, I’m going to keep my number of roleplays to a minimum to keep up with (1) school (2) work (3) my other writing projects I have, which have brought me great joy.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. BECAUSE I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

unbearablybleak: Zuko and Mai by ~nini-pooh

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 21:30:58 -0500

unbearablybleak:

Zuko and Mai by ~nini-pooh